I Think My Partner Wants It... But Won't Say It

You can feel it… but nothing’s been said.

In this episode, we dive into one of the most common — and most misunderstood — situations couples face: when you suspect your partner might be curious about cuckolding, but hasn’t expressed it out loud.

Are you reading real signals… or projecting your own desires?
 What subtle behaviors actually mean something — and what doesn’t?
 And most importantly, how do you bring it up without creating tension, confusion, or distance?

We break down the psychology behind unspoken curiosity, why someone might hold back even if they’re interested, and how to open the conversation in a way that feels natural, grounded, and safe.

If you’ve ever thought, “I think they want this… but I’m not sure,” this episode will give you clarity — and a path forward.

Contact Us: 

We want to hear from you!! Email us at Podcast@CuckoldressLexie.com

Lexie's Site:

www.CuckoldressLexie.com 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Have you ever had that thought? What if my partner's curious about this, but they're just not saying it? Not in an obvious way, but in small moments. Maybe comments, jokes, reactions you didn't fully process at the time, but they stuck with you? And now you're wondering, am I reading into this or is there actually something there? Welcome back to the Cut Cold Marriage Podcast. Today we're talking about one of the most common and most misunderstood starting points in this dynamic. That feeling that your partner might be curious, but hasn't said it out loud. We're going to break down what those subtle signs actually look like, what people get wrong when they try to read them, and how to approach this the right way without creating pressure or damaging your relationship. I want to welcome back my cucky husband, Chris. As usual, Cuck, I had you do the hard part of coming up with the questions, so I'll let you kick us off.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

Thank you, goddess. It is good to be back with you and uh both advice on a little bit of horse. Sorry, I'm a little bit of a cold, but we are gonna try our best here and appreciate uh Lexi kicking us off here. And of course, I'm I'm here with the goddess herself, cuck holdress Lexi Meadows. So today we're really gonna be talking about uh imagine guys uh some of you I and Lexi, I know you coach a lot of guys, and some of them kind of have an inkling that maybe their wife might be into this, but they're just not a hundred percent sure. So that's uh what we're gonna be exploring today. Um some of the dynamics uh uh around uh what may be going on inside of a woman's head uh if you if you might suspect that they might be into a different kind of relationship dynamic rather than the traditional dynamic. Um so I'm gonna be asking Lexi a lot of questions. I'll chime in as much as I humanly can, but today is all about doing our best to get into the mind of of a woman, of, of a wife. Uh so first off, uh you know, Lexi, I I I know that in the guys that you've coached, you you've had some that have that that have said, you know, I I think my wife might be into this, but she's not saying it. Like, why do you think that people hold this in instead of just saying it out loud? And and you know, maybe you give the woman's perspective. I think I can give a a guy's perspective too on this one.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Yeah, absolutely. So I think, you know, from a woman's perspective, why we might not let our partner know if we are having this thought is um fear of um hurting their feelings, really. Um, you know, fear of of saying, hey, um, I think it might be kind of hot if you watched me with another guy. Um, you know, we don't we don't want to hurt our partner. Um, we don't want to make them feel bad. There's also just a fear in general of being judged, of being seen as as being weird for wanting this fantasy. Um, so I think that those are really good reasons why a woman that might be thinking it, might be fantasizing about it, um, might not just go ahead and say it out loud.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Yeah, and actually you telling me this reminds me of, and this was, gosh, probably 15 years ago. I remember one of my friends who's a woman actually bringing it up, and she had no idea that this was, you know, one of my desires, but she brought it up, one of my female friends, and said, Hey, like, I'm into this, but I have no idea where to find it. She wasn't even dating somebody at the time, but like that was her thing was she's like, I want my partner to watch me, you know, with another guy, and she just didn't know where to find it. Now, I don't even remember the context of how that came up between the two of us, but I've seen it I I think from a guy's perspective, guys wouldn't bring it up because uh worried about like how do you phrase this to the wife? How do you how do you talk about this? Um it just it's uh it's something that is just you know terrifying for a guy, you know, while bringing up this kind of a fantasy to a woman. So, you know, no know that um you know, women out there, if the guys bring them up, it's um it's being done and then the guys the guy's scared of that. You know, Lexi, does that resonate with you and and some of the guys that you've talked to, especially?

SPEAKER_01 4:13

Oh, absolutely. They're scared to death to to bring this up. And I I don't blame them, it can be a little scary, but um, it can also be worth it.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Yeah, it can definitely be worth it. I mean, look at look at Lexi and I. If I wouldn't have, you know, like like like you said on Venus, threw it out in a text message.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

Um which was not the smartest way to do that.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Yeah, guys, that's like a exhibit A of what not to do, right? Yeah, yeah, maybe maybe don't maybe don't throw it out in a text message.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

Yeah, I think that if if I had not had prior experience in that for so many years, um, I would not have reacted so positively. It would have been very shocking, um, obviously a new concept to me, and it might not have gone so well.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

What the hell was I thinking? I have I have no idea what what would I can't even put myself in that mindset. I remember like the day and like you know when it happened, all that. I have no idea what what triggered me to know that that was safe enough to send, but yeah, not not the best, not the best move, guys. Let's not do that. I don't think Lexi would advise any of her folks.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

No, I would never.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

But so let's now assume that a woman has this desire, you know, has this kind of fantasy of maybe we're having her partner watch watch her with somebody else. Um, what are some of the most um common subtle signs that you've seen that someone might be curious about it, but not saying it outright?

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Well, I mean, as a woman, I think that the signs that we might um you might see from us would be just maybe making um prolonged, prolonged looking at another guy, a hot guy. Um you know, if you catch us um essentially, you know, I fucking a guy's body, then that's that's always a good sign if this is the kind of lifestyle you want. Um also, you know, dropping little comments. Um just oh my gosh, look at him. Gosh, he's hot. Things like that. Little little throwaway things that um you wouldn't necessarily expect a woman to be saying to a guy that she's in a relationship with.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

But what if she's not vocalizing it, but like there's something there internally? Like are there like signs, body language, like eyes, like like what what let's say you she's not vocalizing it like you, like the other day we were at the park, and like literally, like there was a hot guy, I spotted him before you did, even I'm like, she's gonna say something, and you gave me a look. Um, but most women don't do that, right? Like, so what what would a guy be actually looking for?

SPEAKER_01 6:46

I mean, again, just the double take, the the prolonged staring, the um, you know, continuing to kind of look back over her shoulder at a guy, um, that's uh that's kind of you know, looking him up and down, that's what you want to look for.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

Yeah, you can you can kind of tell, right? If if your partner's in into somebody, um, how can someone tell the difference between a harmless comment and something that actually means more? So let's say, let's say the wife does make a comment, like, oh, that guy's cute. Like at that point in time, like the cuck brain goes to like attack. Like, like, here we go, games on. So, how how how do the guys know for all these guys out here who get so excited the second their wife might say anything? Whereas, like, you know, that there might be an actor that everybody in the world thinks is cute, you know, and she might comment about that and the cuck takes it out of context. How do they have it? How do they put it in the right context?

SPEAKER_01 7:45

It could be hard to tell at first. I'm not gonna lie. Um, it, you know, there's there's a chance that it's a knee-jerk reaction. You know, you you someone very hot shows up on the screen and just without thinking, you're like, oh my. You know, um, so there's always a chance that it could be something like, oh my gosh, he's cute. Um, but you know, if they shut it down real quickly and try and shut up, then maybe that was that knee-jerk. You know, if they see it immediately the second that they see this person, that might have been a knee-jerk. But if they see the person and seconds go by and then they say something, they probably would not have said that unless I mean, probably. There's always, you know, but probably would not have said that unless they were thinking, you know, a little something extra about it.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

Okay. So now let's kind of play that out. You're sitting on the couch, you know, husband and wife, uh, you know, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, and you're watching a movie, um, and uh and all of a sudden the the the woman, the wife, the girlfriend makes a comment, oh, he's cute, or something like that. So let's take it from kind of like that moment, because like while that moment might be a Tuesday night at our house here, Lexi, it's not in most houses. So those kind of comments, you know, don't happen all the time. So let's let's start with how can at this point in time guy a guy do what we do absolutely best and fuck it up because if there's one thing that that we do well, guys, it's just pick the wrong uh path. So let's talk about that first. Um, so what do you think is the biggest mistake people make when they think their partner might be interested in this? So let's say that it happens, right? Okay, boy, that guy's cute and go. Like, what does the guy do that is like the biggest mistake there?

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Well, first I want to go back a moment because you know, something in that one-off moment that you want to look for that um, you know, might give you the well, it will give you the almost definitive yes, she meant something by this, is if after she says the comment, she looks to you for your reaction. If she doesn't look to you at all, and like I said, it tries to it kind of like she shuts it down real quick, voice trails off, gets real quiet, tries to change the subject, you know, that you know, kind of like that knee jerk, and she was like, Oh shit. Um, I said that out loud. Um, but if she says it and then she looks at you for your reaction, that's a great sign. That's a wonderful sign because she's gauging. She's gauging your reaction to just, you know, see what you have to say about it. And um, you know, it could be that she's just teasing, she may not be thinking to herself, um, I want this fantasy, and I'm gonna use this opportunity right now to see how my guy react. She may not be consciously thinking that. Um, it may just be a little playful, like, what are you gonna do? But it still is a is a positive sign that maybe somewhere in the back of her mind, um, she wants to know what your reaction is gonna be and if it's gonna be positive or negative. Um but to answer your question though, um a mistake that guys make in this situation is they get way too excited real too quickly, just off to the races in their head. Um, you know, if if you think that your partner might be interested in this, even if they, like I said, look to you for your reaction, anything like that. That is not an open invitation to start trying to put together a freaking game plan. You know, you're like pump the brakes, calm down, do not go a million miles an hour in your mind, and especially not verbally to her right away.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

Yeah. You know what was funny with the the what the line that made me crack up the most on your interview with Venus was when um when she was talking about your bucket list, you know, your personal cuck holder's bucket list, and you had a hard time coming up with with you know items on your bucket list, and then Venus said, You're probab your husband probably has a whole fucking list in his head or something like that. And that's so true of like so many cucks, is that like we have been fantasying fantasizing about this for years or decades, and it played out like every possible scenario. So like we already know exactly what we want to happen that first time. So that I I think you're right, you know, Lexi. I think that like that's the moment where you have to just pump the brakes. When when when uh when your wife or your girlfriend gives you some kind of a hint that it might be they might be open to it, that that's where you gotta almost like pause, right? Do you do you agree with that?

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Yeah, calm the fuck down.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Calm the fuck down. That's the best way to sum up that dietribe that I just went off on. Thank you for summarizing that. So that that was the cliff notes version, but I've just said So how do you all this is a real I love this question. How often do you see someone projecting their own fantasy onto their partners?

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Often. Um, and I mean you have to be you have to be careful with it. Um, you can't get so excited and off to the races, like I said, that you're not really reading your partner and checking in with their reaction and how they seem to be processing it. Um if they look like they are liking what's being said, what's coming out of your mouth. If, you know, a lot of times people are so excited when they think that they have a shot that they just start, you know, even if it's relatively tame, they just kind of start going for it without and they're so excited about talking about it and the prospect of it, and maybe we could fill in blank. And then they they don't really read the body language or the facial expressions of their partner and s and see how how they're taking it, um, and if they seem like this is something that they're on board with agreed.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

And and cux, I think this question is like we just have to admit like this question is you. Um just because it might be your fantasy to go to um you know, I a lifestyle party and have your wife the center of a gangbang um or a train or something like that, like whatever your crazy fucked up fantasy is, that is totally fine that it's your fantasy. Doesn't mean it's the same fantasy that your wife has, even if she might be in uh to exploring this lifestyle. You know, honey, i if we think about if we were to ask the average woman who might potentially be open to this, uh what do you think they would say is kind of their more because from the guy's point of view, it is that kind of crazy, like there's a bull there and and they're dominant with you, and like what what whatever it might be. If you were to ask a woman like what like what would your fantasy be? What what do you think would be the most common answer or some of the most common answers?

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Um, hard to say. It's hard to speak for other women, but um, you know, a lot of times a woman, especially new to this this lifestyle, this dynamic, their answer might be a lot more tame than that. It's not gonna be going to a freaking gangbang. It's gonna be um, you know, potentially, well, you know, what if we had a guy over? And, you know, it could be it could be the opposite, you know, you know, you as a cuck, you want to watch her with a bullet. It could be her being like, well, what if we had a guy watch us? You know? So that she's with you, she's with her partner. It's basically a as dipping a toe in the water. Um, you know, it may not be fully what you want, but it's a start. So it could be that, or it could just be, let's, you know, it could be let's have a guy over and we could have a threesome, or you could wash me with him, something like that. Um, it's rarely gonna be like, you know, now that you mention it, sweetheart, um, why don't we go to a sex club and hook up with um different men? It's rarely gonna, that's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

Right. And I mean, exactly what you articulated is what I was thinking might be that you know what a woman might say. And we've did we've dabbled in like both those things, right? Like we've had guys watch the two of us um before, and I think that was like really in the beginning. And you know, to your point, I think that was getting us kind of comfortable with having like another person in the room.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

We did it virtually at first, we didn't even do it in real real life.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

Correct. And now we still like with some of the the content on fans lien on your fans lane stuff, like we still do some of that, you know, and um, but that that kind of started to get our toe dipped in the water, and then you know, we started with like threesomes, and then she went to you know more solo dates, right? But a woman may I I was I was wondering if one of your answers was was gonna be a woman might be curious about you know going on a more romantic date with somebody and and having like a nice dinner or something. Like I I don't know what's in the mind of a woman. I'll get glad you articulate that, but I was just thinking whatever her fantasy is is not gonna be as extreme as the guy's fantasy.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Right.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Most likely.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Most likely.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Yeah. So I mean, look, you might you might get somebody who's crazy. It may it may it may it may be really, really fun from the beginning, but those those folks are are a dime a dozen. We don't have a lot of dime a dozen. We don't have a lot of lexicons. Isn't that a isn't that a phrase?

SPEAKER_01 18:02

Yeah, but I don't think that's the right phrase.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Dime a dozen means there's a lot of one in a million. Okay, one in a million, so I said the wrong thing. So opposite, opposite what I said, and that's what I meant.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

So you've been thinking about it. But turning fantasy into reality takes more than curiosity, it takes direction. I work with couples and individuals to guide you through the conversations and dynamics that make a cuck holding relationship actually work. Those first conversations and introductions to your fantasy are especially critical. Done right, it changes everything. Done wrong, it can break it. If you're ready to do it the right way, book time with me at cuckcultureslexie.com.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

So let's now let's now talk about testing the waters. Okay, so let's say we um we got we got some positive momentum here. We're gonna we haven't fucked it up yet. Like the first thing out of our mouth, we actually took a breath. So, guys, when this happens, pause, take a breath, count to 10. And you're gonna be thanking the Cut Cold Marriage Podcast for giving you that advice because that's gonna save you so much heartache. Pause, take a breath, count to 10. So let's say the guy did that, and then all of a sudden, you know, we want to test the waters. So if somebody wants to bring this up without making it awkward or risky, what's the safest way to start that conversation?

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Well, um, you know, everything, everything depends on the girl. And that's why, you know, whenever I am talking with guys about this, you know, about their particular partner, I mean, I get to know some background, some history, and a little bit about her because it does um, I mean, it makes a big difference. It's there's there's no one size fits all for the right way to say it and bring it up to each person. But um, you know, in general, a lot of times before just outright saying it, I like to, you know, have them maybe plant some seeds. And I have different methods for doing that. Um but planting seeds, making comments, boosting their self-confidence, um, playing little games when you guys are out that are flirtatious in nature and fun.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

Like what? Like give some examples of some games that that could be kind of a fun way to start. Because I I I do have I do actually like some of the guys I've talked to in lifestyle, I've heard of like this kind of stuff where where where they're like, hey, my wife is like open to it, we're we're not actually doing it yet, but like we're playing some, you know, get like like what what examples do you have?

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Well, I mean, one like a confidence booster for her is you know, you uh say you see a guy checking her out, you make it a game and say, Honey, this guy was like eye fucking you from across the room. Um I'm gonna let you try and guess which guy it was.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

So you that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

Yeah. It makes it fun and it it lets her know that you not only know that she's really hot and that other guys want her, but that you're totally down with that.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

Can we play that game Friday night when we go out to a bar? Sounds fun. Yeah. I like it. Any other any other ideas? That that was a good one.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Um well, there's also um, you know, the typical seeing how many compliments she can pick up, trying to get as many numbers as she can.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

Um, the the usual um are these, you know, because what I like about this is that they're like easing you into the lifestyle without actually like doing something, right? Like you can the the game, the first game, like you know, you don't have to make Any like contact, like I guess getting numbers is a little bit more like you're getting you you're you're getting a little bit more aggressive contact, but you don't have to do anything, right?

SPEAKER_01 22:11

Right. And you can just dare her, you can, you know, be like, I bet you can't um, you know, maintain more than three-second eye contact with a hot guy. You know, I bet you can't, you know, things like that, like making it competitive and and things like that, it gets her in the mindset um and makes it, you know, it also introduces her to the concept that you are into that.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

And what about and here's you know, here's something that I suspect, but I don't know for a fact. Maybe you can clear it up. I think some women might be hesitant to get into this lifestyle even if they're into it, because they may not have confidence in themselves that anybody else would want them. Um, am I wrong?

SPEAKER_01 22:56

No, you're not wrong at all. Um, you know, there that's definitely the case. And so, you know, one of the things that, you know, some of these games are for is to help build that confidence. It's encouraging her to um wear that sexy outfit when you guys go out and making sure to let her know that she is being seen and that guys are are wanting her and um you know helping helping her gain that that confidence that she is um breaking necks and maybe she's just not seeing it, but you see it.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

Yeah, and and and guys, you will see it. And that is I mean, I love when we go out places and you turn heads. Like that to me is like every bit as thrilling as like anything that may happen in a bedroom. Like I just I just think it's so hot when I just see other guys checking you out. I just think that's super cool and it fills me with pride that um that you're actually my wife.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

Yeah, and you want to let her know that because that'll also help her self-esteem.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

Oh, so what does that sound like when a guy says it?

SPEAKER_01 24:05

Um, you know, just I mean exactly what you just said, you know, that all eyes are on you tonight, hon. And I am so freaking proud that you're mine. You're going home with me. All these guys want you, but they can't have you because you're mine. Um, well, maybe not the last part because you want them to have her, but um, you know, just just saying, I'm so proud about the fact that all of these guys would kill to fuck you. It's so obvious.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

Yeah, I think I think that would really go down well once you've had some conversations. But why do you think that sometimes keeping things hypothetical at the beginning is so important?

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Well, it keeps minds open and it prevents feelings of pressure because if you if you don't start with the hypothetical, start with a little fun, you know, the playing games, the warming her up to it basically, then it can tend to feel more like pressure. And people don't like to feel pressure and they're not gonna perform well under pressure. So putting any sort of pressure, even if you don't mean to, that's not your intent, etc., if you make them feel pressure um to do a certain thing, act a certain way, it can really backfire.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

Yeah, 100%. What should someone be paying attention to in their partner's reaction beyond just what they say? I think this is critical because it this is a hard thing to talk about. Like even you and I, like deep into the into the into the lifestyle, the dynamic, and all that stuff, like sometimes it's hard for me to like like it's just always it's all it it it's always just a game of like you know, building out that next level of conversation, a deeper and deeper level of conversation. So, but one thing that I can read on you all quite often is your body language. So, what what should somebody be paying attention to beyond just what a partner says when you're having conversations about this?

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Well, that body language and the facial expressions are so important because um you want to see if they're you know, if they seem genuinely giddy and excited about the hypotheticals that you're maybe putting forth, um and they seem excited for the potential and the just the idea of it, or if they're just agreeing with you, kind of going with the flow, just kind of like um, yeah, maybe babe. You know, just um, you know, their maybe their eyes are kind of like pointed downward and then they just maybe seem a little uncomfortable and they just can't wait for you to shut the fuck up. Um kind of being able to tell the difference between a you know, an excited hell yeah, even a shamikoi that could be fun. Or a um, yeah, you know, um that that that's something that could be fun, I guess. Um maybe, maybe someday, who who knows? You gotta be able to really tell the difference in the moment, which it seems like while I'm saying it, it seems obvious which which is the excited and which is not, but in the moment it can you really have to pay attention.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

Yeah, guys, really, really hone in on that nonverbal communication here because it it also like this is the moment where where guys now we have our second opportunity to really fuck it up. So, first opportunity is she might say, Oh, somebody's cute, and then you just attack too fast, right? The second opportunity to fuck it up is when she says, Okay, you know what, maybe let's give it a try. So that is your next chance, guys. This is the next, this is the next kind of stop on the males fucking things up train. So if your partner does respond positively, what's the biggest mistake the guys make after that? So she says, uh, maybe I'm kind of open, like let's give it, like, okay, maybe let's give it a try. Like, then what does a guy do to fuck it up?

SPEAKER_01 28:15

So Friday, gangbang. I know I got a buddy. You know, like do not try and freaking implement an action plan. Um, you this is the time to lean into the fantasy of it and be like, you know, gosh, that would be so much fun. You would look so hot. I would love to watch you, you know, being bent over by, you know, this guy or whatever. Um, do not try and formulate an action plan. Do not be like, let's Friday night, let's go find you a guy. Let's go, let's, let's, let's do something. How can we make this happen? That is a great way for her to be like, okay, all that are, you know what? Maybe, maybe this was a bad idea. You know, just pump the brakes too fast, too much. And then she may never want to do it again. She feels too much pressure.

SPEAKER_00 29:05

That sounds like kind of two things happening at once. The first one is the the longtime cut fantasies that the guy has probably had, and then also the the way that the male mind wants to like solve a problem like right away, right? Like, here's an opportunity here, let's close this deal. I already know how to close this deal, I already know what I want to do because I've been thinking about it for 10 years. And so we're just implementing it like right now, you know. We like you said, hey, let's go out on Friday night. And by the way, it's like Thursday at three o'clock in the afternoon. So, like, we're talking about like the next day, and and and guys would do this. You like I could even see it happening on if it's Friday at 6 p.m. we have the conversation. Hey, let's go out right now. Like, because that's what I would do, you know. Like that, I'm just telling you, like, as a guy who is experienced in this lifestyle, I would still want to do that. And I think you know that's true, Lexi, right?

SPEAKER_01 29:59

Yeah, and and that's that's she's probably not necessarily, but she is probably going to shut down at that point.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

Yeah, and so here's the difference, right? Is that Lexi and I are active in the lifestyle, so she can easily say, uh, yeah, not tonight. Like, how about this instead, or I'm not feeling it tonight? And I know that's not a shutdown of the lifestyle, but if you're not actively in it yet, that this can be the exit ramp. This could be the end of it if you if you fuck it up. So how should someone handle it if the partner seems kind of unsure um or hesitant? So, in other words, they're straddling the fence.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

So you should ask them what's going on in their head. What are you thinking right now? You know, let's let's have an open discussion. I want to know what you're feeling. How how you you know what is going on in your mind right now. And reassure her that you're you're okay if this doesn't happen right this second. This doesn't happen right away. Let her know even that you're okay. I mean, if if this doesn't happen, because even if you're not, don't tell her that. You know, just reassurance that you're fine either way can help relax her enough to where that she will remain open to it. Um, you know, because you may not get it ever, and you have to be open and willing to accept that. This is not, there's not a guarantee that every woman out there with a husband or partner that has this fantasy is gonna go along with it. So you have to be okay if it doesn't happen, but you especially have to reassure her that it's not you're not gonna feel a void or let down or something if it doesn't happen. So just ask her, hey, babe, you know, you look a little um unsure, uneasy, you know. I'm not trying to rush you, I'm not trying to push you, you know. If you don't want to do this, it's fine. Um, I just you know, what do you what do you what's going on in your mind right now? Just let me know.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

Gosh, those sure sound like the kind of words that get that gets her to an eventual yes. Like it it really does.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

Well, I am here to help.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

Right. That wasn't even the commercial for you. That was just like like like that. If you guys, if you said that, like I could see most women responding positively. Yeah. Because just from a like a biological perspective, like you're you're gonna be releasing, you know, serotonin, oxytocin, like all of those things that are gonna be bonding chemicals, you're gonna put the woman at ease. So like that's that's what you're really aiming for. And and you know, Lexi, I think you brought a good point, like, say you're okay with it with it, even if you're not, but you do have to be okay with it eventually if you want to be with this person. Yeah. So like if this dynamic is critical to you, then you've gotta choose somebody who's in this dynamic, you know, who's gonna be okay with it before you commit to them long term. If if if you're in a if you're in a relationship and they're not into it and and they're your they're your spouse, like you may have to just be okay with that. Um and that's uh you know, that's what that's why choosing wisely is is really important, especially if this dynamic is critical to you. So what's the what's the right way to respond if the partner completely shuts down the idea? So you bring it up and like right away, like they shut it down.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Um you let it go, at least for now. Um and you know, there's a there's always a chance that she just needs time to process. Um when you put someone on the spot, their first reaction might not be the final reaction. So give her time to process. She, you know, like we like we just said, she may never come around to it. But there's a chance she will, but you've got to let it go at that time. You can't push. You can't be like, babe, you don't understand. I've been wanting this for so many years, and now we're actually talking about it. You know, is there any way that we can make this happen? Come on, I know you like it, it'd be so much fun, and da-da-da. This has been a fantasy of mine. If you'll just do this for me, blah blah blah. That's like guaranteed way to never get it. And then she's gonna be resentful. Um, so let it go at that, especially at that time, um, and give her time to process. Maybe she'll come around.

SPEAKER_00 34:36

I would also say that a huge thing at this point, guys, if she shuts it down, is don't try to manipulate or trick her into it.

SPEAKER_01 34:44

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 34:45

Because there are guys that do that, you know, like the woman shuts it down and and the guy might know like her. Well, if you love me or something like that. Well, it's not even that. Like, I'm talking about something even more sinister, like uh you know, a guy uh arranging for another guy to hit on the wife at a bar or something like that, or like oh gosh, guys don't do that. I've heard of some pretty dark stuff, you know, and and and Venus has talked about this on her show too. Like, guys, like don't fucking do that. Like, not not cool. Okay, so if the wife shuts it down, like don't manipulate and definitely don't try to trick her into it. Don't try to don't don't try to go out and get her like super wasted one night and like the this like this shit is real, like like it it it can happen. So just guys, um even if you think that your wife might want it or enjoy it afterwards, like don't don't do it, like that's not okay. So this conversation is is is is critical. Um, so even if a couple never moves forward with this, why is having the conversation like this valuable? Like, what does it add? So let's say, and going back, like we're almost all like basing this like on the scenario, like you're sitting on the couch, you know, the wife says something, it can go like bad, it can go well, maybe we play some games. Let's say it it ends up going like really not anywhere, or it goes somewhere great. Either way, why is this conversation a good one to have and invaluable?

SPEAKER_01 36:11

Well, for one thing, if this is something that you've really wanted, um you you don't want to always ask yourself what if. So having the conversation is valuable because you never know. It might work out, she might be into it, she might come around. Um, so obviously it's valuable just so that you know what if. But um, you know, if if it doesn't happen the way that you want it, it can still potentially open the door for you know alternative um, you know, kinky ways to spice up the relationship. So you might as well.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

Yeah, I think um because you might act you might actually get a like a no but kind of response. Exactly. Like, no, I won't do this, but you know, and like the wife might be What if we tried this? What if we got like a big like you know, dildo and like fantasized about it or something like that, right? Like whatever it might be, like I've heard of those things where like the wife won't actually like do it, but like she'll she'll be open to getting like a like a big, you know, some something to like pretend. Um, you know, so it's so it's more like fantasy, right? So it's still the husband and her, but they have like another like quote unquote, you know, air quote dick there, you know, that kind of a thing. So I mean who knows? Like it might be a no but like there might be some other some other thing that she she might be cool doing. Um, how can handling this situation right actually strengthen a relationship?

SPEAKER_01 37:39

Well, you know, having conversations like these, it it opens communication up. It shows that you can have an open dialogue. Um, like we said, it might lead to other things. Um, but I think that being open and vulnerable with your partner like this, anytime that you're open and vulnerable, um, and then and then you handle each other's reactions the right way, um, it only strengthens the relationship if you do it right.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

When you have these types of conversations, it's almost like you're emotionally naked in front of your partner.

SPEAKER_01 38:15

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

And anytime you can become emotionally naked in front of your partner, you're gonna strengthen your relationship if you handle it correctly. And if you can handle these types of difficult conversations where I mean, especially you know, men, if you're the one bringing this up, and you're you're probably your palms are sweaty and you and you're scared, and you know how it's gonna go, um, it could go very bad. Um and you're able to bring this up. I mean, you are you are completely vulnerable. You've removed every piece of armor or protective coating, your your shields are down, um, and you're going into to enemy, you know, lines potentially. And uh if you can do that and navigate that kind of a conversation and uh if you can do that with with your partner, you can handle most other conversations in life. I mean, Lexi, what what do you what do you think? Does that make sense? I'm not gonna say that.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

I I agree entirely.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

Uh yeah, so guys, have these kind of conversations with within your relationships, and and I think that the dynamics will uh will play themselves out the way that that they can in in the best way possible. So again, this episode was just really about getting inside of Lexi's head from the perspective of a woman. That's why this I we really want to try to provide a balanced perspective on this podcast between the cuck and the cuck holders, but today was really about getting inside of the woman's head. And now it's time for Lexi's favorite part of the day, which is where we bring up something that why so I'm just curious, Lexi. Uh uh do you have a most memorable, like kind of uh kind of one night or one, you know, um one kind of meeting stand, like in the time that you've been kind of in this dynamic, even even before me? Like was it was there like a like a favorite kind of like what was the best sex that you had, like on one of the one of your like outings or something like that? Can you share? You don't have to share like all the crazy details, but can like is there something that you can think of?

SPEAKER_01 40:14

Um I mean, honestly, the the one that we we've already talked about when we went to the sex club and um met that one guy, took him to the back room and which we didn't know was a group room. Um, and I mean it was pretty fabulous getting to have sex there on this giant round bed in front of you with you sitting in a chair right next to me. And you know, at various times, you know, you were holding my hand while I was getting just fucked. Like I I mean, that was he did me really good. So it was really it was really a great time and a great um moment between us and then also just me getting fucked really hard.

SPEAKER_00 40:59

Yeah, that was a good one. I'm sure if we if we get gave it like more thought, you'd probably come up with more.

SPEAKER_01 41:03

Yeah, well, that's why you don't spring surprise questions on me.

SPEAKER_00 41:06

I know. Maybe I should start giving you hints on these surprise questions.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

You think?

SPEAKER_00 41:09

Yeah, but that one making a surprise.

SPEAKER_01 41:11

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like those.

SPEAKER_00 41:13

Your least favorite. I get the look, guys. I haven't I haven't figured out how to like edit videos really well. We haven't posted the first two, and this one we're recording in our closet, so there is not gonna be um video of this one, unfortunately. But um, thanks for all your thoughts today, Lexi. And to all of our listeners, if you are in this position right now where you're noticing something but you're not sure what to do with it, just remember this how you handle this moment matters more than anything else. You can really screw up this moment, guys. Don't fuck it up. Going too fast, making assumptions, or applying pressure, that's what shuts down this before it even has a chance to grow. And once that door is shut, it is likely to remain shut um unless you figure out a way to jar it open. And that's one of the things that actually does really well, you know, with her help. But if you approach it the right way with patience, awareness, and the right kind of communication, it can open the door to something completely different in your relationship. And if you want to help navigate in this conversation, head over to cuckholderesslexi.com and remember, folks, Lexi is spelled L-E-X-I-E with an E at the end there, and she'll help you do this the right way without putting your relationship at risk. We will see you all on the very next episode. Lexi, you want to say bye to everybody?

SPEAKER_01 42:29

Bye guys.